Meltem’s Story
I thought I was too broken to be loved. I was wrong. Grace showed me a different story.
I was born into a dysfunctional family. Both my birth parents struggled with substance abuse. My biological father was extremely abusive toward my mum, and in a way, toward us kids too. We had to witness his actions daily. Police and child services were often at our house. I was four, and my siblings were two, six and eight when we were first removed from our mother’s care.
We were moved around multiple times into emergency care, only to be returned to unsafe environments. Eventually, my father left, and my mum was no longer well enough to care for us. She was battling a brain tumour and mental illness. She passed away in August 2024.
We became wards of the state and got lost in the foster care system. My younger brother and I lived in 27 different homes before I turned 17. I felt responsible for protecting him because we only had each other. Everything else was always taken away. Many families gave up on us within weeks or even days because they couldn’t handle our unsettled behaviour. Moving so often made school difficult. I was treated as an outcast and bullied for being different.
With all the instability growing up, I struggled to believe I had any value. I learned early that love could be taken away when I misbehaved. To get what I needed, I had to give in unhealthy ways. This led me into promiscuity and more abuse during high school. Something serious happened to me and I didn’t know who to tell. I told my caseworker that my placement wasn’t safe and asked to be moved. She said no one was willing to take teenagers, so we had to stay despite the neglect and mistreatment.
Eventually, we moved to a Christian family. Life looked different. We were enrolled in a Christian private school. My caseworker came for a visit and begged me to tell her what had happened in our last home. I did, trusting she would do something. But she moved away soon after and never reported it. That didn’t hit me until years later when I moved out on my own.
At school, I made a good friend. He became someone I trusted. After school, we stayed close through youth groups and church. As I was about to age out of care, I found a place to live on my own and our relationship deepened. I shared my story and he chose to love me for who I was. During this time, while I had hope for my future, the flashbacks returned. I tried multiple medications for my mental health, but none helped. If anything, they made things harder.
I got engaged at 18 and married at 19, thinking I could leave my past behind. But it didn’t work that way. We struggled in our marriage and clashed in ways we couldn’t explain. After over six years, I walked away. I couldn’t believe he truly loved me. I pushed him away and wished he’d married someone else.
I made poor choices that led me into a dark and destructive path. I worked in Out of Home Care for two years, supporting foster children. I became highly triggered and burnt out because I hadn’t healed. A colleague told me I needed help and suggested Destiny Haven. Her daughter had done the program and it had helped. I thought about it but resisted, even though I was desperate and exhausted by the cycle I was living in.
I learned to trust community, to let my heart soften, and to welcome people who truly saw me and didn’t want to hurt me. I found family at Destiny Haven—something I had longed for my whole life.
I reached the end of myself. I couldn’t take another day. I contacted Destiny Haven, filled out the application, did the phone interview and was given a start date. The first six months were incredibly difficult. I didn’t want to let go of the life I knew or the answers I thought I had. I felt like that little foster kid again, even though I was now 26.
Day by day, God gently tugged at me. As I started to uncover my false beliefs and replace them with truth, my heart slowly began to soften.
Christmas break was approaching and I had no idea where I’d go. I hadn’t seen my husband in nearly six months. We had barely spoken for a year. I watched a Louie Giglio message called Wounded and heard the salvation story like it was the first time. In that moment, it was for me. I sobbed and made the decision to follow Jesus. I was done doing life without Him.
I ran into the office and confessed everything I had still been hiding. It felt freeing to let it out and receive love. Not just from Jesus but from Janine too. She told me it was time to call my husband and ask if he’d come to counselling.
That night, I got on my knees and surrendered him to the Lord. I said, “No matter the outcome, whether we start again or not, Hayden belongs to you.” I committed to follow Jesus for the rest of my life, whatever happened next. The next day I called him. He hesitated, but said yes to coming to a session.
When he came, I received forgiveness for the hurt I had caused him. He welcomed me back home just in time for Christmas. In January, I returned to Destiny Haven and our healing journey began again, this time together.
A few months later, Janine gave me my graduation date. I told her I wanted to renew my vows, and she supported it. She planned for the ceremony to happen in August, with my graduation the following day. My sister in Christ, Tarese, redesigned my original wedding dress, which felt like a dream come true. We held the ceremony at the top of the mountain at Valley View. Janine, the staff and the Diamonds worked so hard to make it special. Lewis walked me down the aisle. He had become like a father figure to me over my time in the program.
God met me in the darkest places and waited for me to turn to Him. He gave me the space to choose, and when I finally looked to Him, I saw not only who He was, but who I was through His eyes.
I am grateful for the journey that began at Destiny. I learned how to walk in freedom instead of captivity. I was given tools to live God's way, not my own. I learned to trust community, to let my heart soften, and to welcome people who truly saw me and didn’t want to hurt me. I found family at Destiny Haven—something I had longed for my whole life. To be loved, seen and embraced for who I truly am.
In this next season, my husband and I are preparing for parenthood. We feel honoured by all that we have learned. Now, we get to pass it on to our children. But our foundation is in Christ alone. Through Him, all things are possible. We give God all the glory. He is the chain breaker, the only one who can reach into our deepest pain, bring it into the light, and heal it. He is the only one.
I am grateful for the journey that began at Destiny. I learned how to walk in freedom instead of captivity.